When the desire for spirituality washes up in a person one enthusiastically jumps into the framework. But if we want to engage in self-improvement and study Kabbalah, then the body immediately poses the question: Why is this necessary?
The way of Kabbalah is a long, difficult period of reevaluating one’s goals in life, of reassessing the self, clearly defining the direction of one’s desires, truthfully assessing the motivating forces of one’s actions, attempting to overcome the desires of the body and the demands of reason, as well as completely grasping the power of one’s egoism.
The way of Kabbalah is, at the same time, a hard, prolonged period of suffering to search to satisfy one’s desires; it is a period of disappointment that one is unable to find a genuine “focus” of one’s aspirations; it is the time of realizing that the only escape from the ultimate source of suffering (egoism) is the shift to altruistic thoughts, which will exclude any thoughts about the self, and will gradually lead to thoughts about the Creator. The latter will, in turn, bring about such pleasant feelings of serenity that one will not want to think about anything else.
Although we think we made huge efforts towards the right goal, the quantity, our quality of those actions could be insufficient, or we missed the direction towards the goal completely.
We can observe similar events in nature. For instance, it can rain extensively, but not in the places where the rain would yield the greatest benefit. Thus, the rain may fall in the desert, where it produces little effect, rather than in the fields, where even the slightest precipitation can give rise to a variety of crops.
Similarly, a person can be engaged in the constant reading of spiritual texts, but the fruits, the spiritual understanding of the Creator that should result from these efforts, may be elusive. On the other hand, it is possible that by investing a much smaller effort in studying the right portions of Kabbalah, one may reap a greater harvest from one’s efforts.
When we are distracted by outside thoughts, we feel that thoughts obstruct us from ascertaining the spiritual, because our strength and minds are wasted on extraneous concerns, while our hearts become filled with petty desires. At times like this, we lose faith in the fact that only Kabbalah contains the true life.
Once we overcome this condition, we come out of our state and move into the Light, receiving a higher Light that helps us ascend further. In this manner, our extraneous thoughts work to help us in our spiritual advancement.
In order for one who is still under the influence of egoism to perceive the closest Upper Object (the Creator), the Creator must equalize some of His qualities with those of the lower being—the person seeking a connection with the Creator.
He will endow some of His altruistic qualities with egoistic attributes, and can then come into balance with the person seeking connection with Him.
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