If you listen with your heart to one famous question, I am sure that all your doubts as to whether you should study Kabbalah will vanish without a trace. This question is a bitter and fair one asked by all born on earth: “What is the meaning of my life?“—Rabbi Yehuda Ashlag, “Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot“
I was born and raised in one of the eastern European communist countries. Ever since I can remember myself I expected life to be fair and for everybody to love and help each other. As I grew up the realities of life happened. The Communist regime made of me a faithful comrade, a condition that continued until I finished high school and entered the river of life.
Inconsistencies in the behavior of some authority figures planted the seeds of doubt and confusion deep inside of my heart. The search for idealism deepened but eventually started to wane because of the bleakness of the situation. Survival became the name of the game. I started feeling boxed in with no hope for change, until one day a chance for change presented itself. A chain of circumstances caused our lives to take a turn for the worst then eventually into blessing.
My husband had an opportunity to change jobs which was going to change our lives in several ways. The possibility of owning our own apartment was one of them. We lived with my in-laws in a small room and a half, no indoor plumbing. The other change, which was once in a life time opportunity, was that he was going out to a western country for training. What was special about it is the fact that getting out of the country was next to impossible, average citizens were not allowed.
He went for a month but… did not return. What followed was the saga of defecting from a communist country. To make it shorter, I had to leave the country with our little child illegally, crossing the borders on foot, after several prior unsuccessful attempts. Eventually my husband and I got together and after some time in a refugee camp we found ourselves in the US as immigrants.
Coming to the States was a miracle for our little family. It was wonderland. Not knowing the language, the customs, the ways of life here made every experience an adventure.
The first strong impression that is noteworthy for my journey to find Kabbalah came when we saw on TV a public call to prayer for the Apollo 13 incident. We realized that there are many people in this country that openly believed in G-d and it was allowed. Because of this I became driven to explore the phenomenon that was forbidden and shrouded in mystery for us in Communism. We were brought up as atheists. Our parents were forbidden to teach us anything about G-d, but their silent faith in deity left something in us, that now we were trying to sort out.
It was after 6 years of being in the US and learning how to read English that I experienced an unquenchable desire to buy the Bible and to start reading it. After that there was no stopping me.
In the 30 years that followed, I continued searching in the established faiths for the ideal that left me wanting. Questions that I had went unanswered because no one was thinking outside of the doctrine’s box. Looking for deeper meanings in the Bible I joined many studies in theology, history, languages, etc. In 2005 a group of friends and I started reading Attaining the Worlds Beyond by Michael Laitman, PhD, and coupled with the book Kabbalah Revealed by Laitman, and insight into the perception of reality, I knew I was home.
Home, where first the Creator, G-d, became real to me. Very rapidly my questions were being answered and the fragmented information that I gathered through the years was coming into place. I understood why all have sinned and have come short of the glory of G-d. All, especially man, being created as a desire to receive made sense and took the debilitating guilt away, replacing it with desire to be like the Creator no matter what it takes.
Knowing that He is behind everything gives one the feeling of being taken care of by someone that has one’s best interest in mind. Loving your neighbor as yourself becomes possible when one knows what the process is. Life became meaningful knowing that there is a master plan and the Master behind it is not a fickle, fallible individual human being, but the Force that created and sustains everything.
Through continuing to study I found out that this Force, invisible to the physical eye, can become visible in this world only by us humans who are given mind and reasoning, to display It among us in the form of the glue called love (never to be mistaken with the Hollywood’s version). We can’t do it by ourselves because we are egoist, selfish beings that look after our own interests, but the Creator that created us that way—hence no guilt—is here ready to help us become like Him. How? Through what is called prayer, a heartfelt prayer.
Prayer is not religion but it is our “hot line to heaven” that He provided Himself. The whole earth is filled with His glory is what comes to mind from the Bible. Yes, many, many Bible verses became alive through the wisdom of Kabbalah. It is His wisdom and it works, makes sense, can be proven, crosses all kinds of borders, and can be experienced by anyone that cares to ask the question “What is this life all about”? It is pertinent to every aspect of life—from the family to the highest government or corporate office.
It is wisdom that I feel privileged to study for the rest of my life. It can be seen very clearly that working on human nature according to the principles laid out in the wisdom of Kabbalah is the human’s task and the reason for us being here—if we are to succeed in correcting every aspect of our lives. Through it we can become the human beings that we were meant to be. I understood why my country did not prosper with communism. No one touched or considered addressing the human nature—our inherent egoism.
Real freedom is what I experienced in coming to Kabbalah!
By Margalit
